When we made the decision to start kindergarten at 6-years-old, it felt heavy. Everyone says summer birthdays are tough and that boys develop slower than girls, but our twin boys weren’t just July babies; they were July babies that were supposed to be November babies.
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Our twins, Lochlan and Lex, were born at 24 weeks. Each of their 1 lb bodies had endured brain bleeding in the first 3 days of life which only started the wildest journey of our lives. From day one, we were told that there was a 90% chance that they would have a disability. The doctors quickly followed up that statement with telling us that the greatest determining factor of how well micropreemies do developmentally is determined by their parents’ involvement. Kyle and I made a promise that from that day forward we would do everything in our power to help our boys meet their developmental potential, however high those mountains may be.

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In the NICU, we watched our boys fight for what most take for granted like eating, breathing or even being stable enough to feel another human’s touch. After 101 days and with oxygen tanks and monitors in tow, we walked our twins out of the NICU for the very last time. That’s when the hard work started.
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We were discharged with over 20 medical appointments on our calendar and no end to those in sight. Since we knew from the get-go that the boys had all odds stacked against them, we got them in every early intervention possible. We wanted to give them the best fighting chance. Although both boys were developmentally delayed, it became clear early on that Lex was developing more typically than his brother. We watched Lex roll, crawl and climb all over Lochlan while Loch was still learning how to sit up. At about 2-years-old, Lex graduated out of most early intervention (which is miracles in itself), but, at that time, Lochlan was still learning how to push himself up to sit. The therapies continued.

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From the age 3-4, the twins attended a developmental preschool through the school district. Lex was able to learn, and Lochlan did as well but also received therapy. It was great and it felt very safe for Lochlan who, at the time, preferred crawling over walking. In the middle of their last year there, we found out that because they were turning 5 in July, they were ineligible to attend another year regardless of their history of extreme prematurity. This meant we were forced to make a tough decision. We either had to send them to kindergarten early which didn’t feel right; keep them home another year which wasn’t right or find a private preschool that could handle Lochlan safely.
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Around March, I quickly began researching every preschool in our area. None of them were for disabled kids and none had ever had a child that couldn’t walk. The conversations with the schools alone did not feel welcoming. It felt as if they wanted to say, “no, please don’t bring him here” but didn’t because they could not legally tell me no. My biggest fear was sending him to a school where he plays in a corner instead of being included just because of his disability. Sure, he could be safe in that environment, but it would be counterproductive. Just as I was starting to think home may be the best place and only safe place for him, I toured the preschool at University Place Presbyterian Church (UPPC.)
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It was beautiful, clean and had an unassumingly large preschool. Nothing I said to the administrator giving me a tour made me feel like a nuisance. She listened to what I said and all my concerns. Very candidly, she explained that they had never had a child who could not walk, but she embraced the challenge full heartedly. She showed me exactly how he would get from space to space and even offered to buy adaptive equipment, if necessary. I cautiously believed her. At the end of our tour, she said that if we were able to get in (space was very limited) that we would need to meet with Lochlan’s teachers prior to school starting to discuss Lochlan’s adaptive needs.
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I left feeling hopeful, but still had my shield up.

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I felt nervous about sending Lochlan into a private preschool, but one conversation with his doctor changed everything. At the appointment, I explained my concerns of sending a disabled child to private preschool. He listened, nodded then his demeanor changed. He looked me in the eye and said, “if you have found a team that is willing to accept Lochlan and all that comes with him, that is gold.” He went on to say, “take it.” And so, we did. My husband and I made the decision, nervously, to enroll Lochlan and Lex into UPPC’s preschool. There were only 4 spots open for that preschool class and all parents had to login on the same date and the same time to “fight” for those spots. Because I had twins, I had to enroll twice and thought it was unlikely that I could get 2 of the 4 spots, but, by the grace of God (literally), we managed to get one spot for each twin.
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September rolled around and it was now time to meet the teachers. They were mid set-up for their school year when we arrived but made time to meet. The three of us sat in preschool chairs around a table. I sensed a fear in the situation. I had fear and they had fear, but they weren’t shying away from. The teachers name were Miss Kari and Miss Kelli. I remember explaining Lochlan and Lex’s miraculous medical history to them as well as the obstacles that Lochlan would be bringing into their classroom. I didn’t need to tell them my worries and concerns because they came out with tears as I talked about them. Kelli went on to tell me that she was a twin too. I took that as a sign that we were in the right spot at the right time.
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The following week the twins met the teachers and they didn’t want to leave their classroom. There were so many fun things to do there and they got to meet a few of their classmates. When I left the twins on their first day, there was fear, but because of Miss Kelli and Miss Kari, I too didn’t shy away from it. I had no idea at the time, but this was more than just an extra year of preschool for the twins. This school and this experience would change all of our lives.

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Over the course of the school year, Lochlan and Lex developed in ways that I don’t think they would have at any other school. They weren’t just embraced for their differences; they were praised for them. When ever I would drop Lochlan off late from therapy, a swarm of children would run over and bear hug him. I watched him develop an armor of children who would cheer him on to walk and help him with challenging tasks. Walking down the hall with Lochlan felt like I was walking with a celebrity. Everyone knew his name and he knew there’s. The level of compassion and empathy created over the past year is absolutely unbelievable. Whether they realized it or not at the time, Miss Kari and Miss Kelli were creating a foundation for all of the preschoolers that will impact them for life. They were teaching everyone that disabilities aren’t scary. They simply are.
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Miss Kari and Miss Kelli also went above and beyond to work with Lochlan too. The frequently asked if there were therapies that they could do with him during school. What teachers do that? I watched the staff host an entire day full of green on Cerebral Palsy awareness day. The teachers also invited special guests with CP to visit the classroom. As the school year progressed it became clear to all of us that what Lochlan was gaining in this environment was equivalent if not greater to what everyone else was gaining.

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When Kyle and I made that promise to help our boys meet their developmental potential 6 years ago, we didn’t realize that we would have an army helping us do this. Though faith, trusting the “gold” and with a lot of luck, we got that with Miss Kari and Miss Kelli and the beautiful environment they created. I would say that we will all miss you both terribly, but you are family… so now your stuck with us.